Does Not a Rebel Make

Winter came on with a vengeance, and I was forced once again to run the shall I buy an umbrella debate. I think this one had been going for well over 5 years. Could it be a factor in my perpetual winter cold that starts in mid december and carries through until february. I hate to place blame on something so mundane, but repeat trips to the doctor presenting with variations of the same set of symptoms and a mental printout of a few key definitions from the Mayo Clinic have not lead to diagnoses other than "you have a cold and need to get some rest". I feel that I make a convincing argument and yet am often denied the luxury and excitement of a much required blood test. At the end of the season I am most definitely greatful to not be special enough to have a rare disease, but the stress of possible misdiagnosis weighs heavy.

Back to the umbrella. I returned home one evening a wet rat and because I like to limit clothing changes to twice a day and don't have an inbetween outfit (post work pre bed), sat and shivered for several hours in my apartment. Thank goodness for the lap warming effects of my laptop, it provided a small comfort. But upon aawakening opted to venture forth and rid myself of a preconception that I stubbornly hold on to and buy myself two umbrellas. Pink, yellow, and then suddenly a gift of a black one. When it rains it pours.

belated best ofs

Well, I will sort of apologize to myself for putting these up so far into the new year, but I'm kind of proud of myself for having managed to do it. The list probably would have looked a little different if I hadn't managed to break my ipod. (Still purty on the outside, all busted up on the inside - goodbye fair child). It was kind of like losing my cell phone. It was my list and history for the year, and without it the struggle was great to remember many details, kind of like how I couldn't remember many of my friends after I lost my phone. Sigh. Easy come easy go.

I think I saw two movies last year and read three books.


Top 10 Albums
1. Sufjan Stevens, Illinois
2. Why?, Elephant Eyelash
3. Venetian Snares, Rossz Csillag Allat Szuletett
4. M.I.A., Arular
5. The New Pornographers, Twin Cinema
6. Kano, Home Sweet Home
7. The Mountain Goats, The Sunset Tree
8. Broken Social Scene, You Forgot it in People (not 2005, but I just heard it this year).
9. 13 & GOD, s/t
10. Dangerdoom, The Mouse and the Mask


Top 5 Singles
1. Lady Sovereign, Random
2. Daddy Yankee, Gasolina
3. 13 & GOD, Perfect Speed
4. Medasyn feat. Lady Sovereign and Shystie, The Battle
5. LCD Soundsystem, Yeah (crass version)


Top 5 Musical Events
1. Diplo and DJ Marlboro at the Rickshaw Stop
2. Jamie Lidell at The Independent
3. V∞redoms, The Independent
4. El Circo tent in the early AM after the burn – don’t know was DJing
5. The Fucking Champs, at the Bottom of the Hill. Both times!!

Greasy Meatball

I've been making a concerted effort to spend more time at home in a state of boredom. In my aresenal of things I contemplate and regularly discuss is the "we need to be bored" speech. Without this time without input I don't think the creative self can thrive and yet I find myself going to and from work with headphones on doing the crossword, at home with a drink and talking on the phone, staying up all night to play with the computer.

Then I read this poem.

The Art of Disappearing by Naomi Shihab Nye.

When they say Don't I know you? say no.
When they invite you to the party
remember what parties are like
before answering.
Someone telling you in a loud voice
they once wrote a poem.
Greasy sausage balls on a paper plate.
Then reply.
If they say we should get together.
say why? It's not that you don't love them any more.
You're trying to remember something
too important to forget.
Trees.
The monastery bell at twilight.
Tell them you have a new project.
It will never be finished. When someone recognizes you in a grocery store
nod briefly and become a cabbage.
When someone you haven't seen in ten years
appears at the door,
don't start singing him all your new songs.
You will never catch up.
Walk around feeling like a leaf. Know you could tumble any second. Then decide what to do with your time.

It may be tacky to post it. I found it in a book on someone else's bookshelf. "10 poems on how to live your life" or somesuch nonsense which I would normally have dismissed rather quickly in a bookstore, though never would I have picked up the collected works of above author in someone's house. No judgement of the poetry itself from this corner. I just think I needed it.

Fighting the Good Fight

Pipets in the trash bin. I think I won. Trash can equidistant. Me with the unfamiliar small volume low weight unpredictable tips. He with the 200 microliter "sure things". My ejector worn out from years of use. He with the ergonomically correct Rainin. Silence. Both of us calmly loading gels without acknowledging the other and simultaneously shooting the tips in without a sideways glance. I won. Some days I love my job.

my commute

Something has changed in the mormon breeding program. They used to be models of wholesome midwestern whiteness, but now they seem to have a tendency to dress more street and don't always follow the tall one plus short one M.O. This morning on the bus they weren't even wearing suits. Perhaps in San Francisco they use a different approach. They are still incredibly sweet and eager though. I tossed a few items onto the floor of the bus and they anxiously reached down and handed them back to me. What darlings.

a penthouse would be too windy

You walk up to the roof of your 3 story apartment building in the middle of the night on what was a rainy foggy day and find a patch of uncloudy sky directly above you. Chilly, crisp air that lights all your senses on fire. The half moon shining bright above you for 10 minutes before the wind blows the circle of clouds away from you.

I'm , Er, Going Camping (wink wink)

1. I lost $28 in a poker game with some new "friends"
2. Due to some unambiguously irresponsible behavior on my part I no longer have tires on my bicycle.
3. My boss is making me work 40 hours a week (NOT INCLUDING LUNCH).
4. I got a bad haircut.

I plan to spend the weekend in bed smothering rogaine on my poor head and marinating the scalp skin chemical concoction underneath a plastic bag. Wish me the best.

How Embarrassing

At the doctor's office today I was forced to engage in a battle for the August 2005 Vogue (Jessica Simpson looking smokey on the cover). THis consisted of a slightly ungraceful pick-up in pace after leaving the receptionists desk to a full blown swoop "oh I thought you were just sitting down" hand to mouth move after snatching magazine. While perusing my hard won gains, a cute boy walked into the office and I found myself regretting not having opted for the untouched Nation sitting on the table in from of me. He was wearing glasses and I'm pretty sure he might have been smart.

They Call This Fun

Rock and a Hard Place

Apparently the key to blogging is finding your niche.